Greetings

Most servers can instantly tell if a table is going to be a pain in the ass. There a many things that set off a red flag almost instantly. For example you can refer to my interruptions post, if a table lacks the courtesy to even let you get your name out, you know they are going to be difficult.

However my favorite, the one that makes me want to throw things, jump up and down and scream, "don't eat in a restaurant if you do not know how to behave!" is when I watch the table sit down immediately walk over to make my required 30 second greet and they look at me like I'M rude and state, "well we just sat down!" No F*CKING Kidding! That is why I am here! You know your server? The one who should be taking care of you the moment you sit down. So excuse me for bothering you when you walked into my restaurant to get you something to drink. I am sooo sorry for giving you good service, excuse me while I go and wait in a corner guessing when the best time for YOU is!

I know when I greet a table I have a few seconds to give a first impression. A server can win or loose a table in the first few sentences of a greet. I know that I am being judged. People can tell if I love or hate my job, if I am capable, and if I am going to give them a pleasant experience. I know that people don't want to know about my problems, they do not care. They came in to spend money on service, if they just wanted food they would have gone through a drive through or stayed at home. If I can realize that I am being judged in that first few sentences, then how is it that the table cannot realize that I am doing the same to them. If they are obnoxious right off the bat and I have a choice 30 minutes later of taking care of someone else or them who do you think I am going to choose? Do they think that because they were rude and over demanding I am going to jump to? Yessum Masta'? Bull shit! Oh you wanted a side of ranch? I totally forgot I am so sorry! let me go and get that for you right now!

People always say don't f*ck with your server because they will f*ck with your food. I can honestly say I have never (no matter how much I wanted to) spit in someone's food, or done anything from the movie Waiting. But if you are rude to me your food is less likely to come our right away, or your drink refills may come a bit slower, your beer might sit at the cocktail station a few extra minutes. Not because I am dragging my feet on purpose, but because there are other people at this restaurant that treat me with respect and I will be taking care of them first.